When we love someone, we hesitate to say so. For such a strong, positive emotion, we keep it secret. What if it’s not returned? Is it too soon to say so? Too many questions. Too many fears. Yet, we feel so desperate to be loved; we just don’t want to be the first to give it “in case” we don’t get it back. And so we remain silent without ever finding out what happens when we do speak up. We don’t realize that exuding love brings it back to us in multiples.
As does hate. When I was growing up in the 70’s, my mother taught me that “hate” was a strong word that should never be “thrown out there” without careful consideration. To this day, I feel mindful of using that word. I don’t hate people. I hate the way they act. There’s a difference. Sadly, not everyone is so careful. But why is it okay for people to feel hatred directed at them when it can ~ and usually does ~ escalate into something far worse?
I get it. People are afraid of appearing foolish. And so they would rather “throw the first punch” instead of risking the pain of unreciprocated love. It’s all about hurting someone else before they dare to hurt us. It’s really just a dance, during which we’re constantly looking for clues and signals. “You first” when it comes to love. “Me first” when it comes to hate. See the twisted correlation? We don’t want pain so much that we would rather someone else experience it before us. But then our emptiness continues and we’ve experienced absolutely nothing. If we have a lifetime of “safe” nothings…
…isn’t that still pain in the form of emptiness?