Retroactively Indulgent ‘Sundae’ Chat

For my Retro Sunday series last week, I wrote about a coffee chat with my maternal grandfather. This week {inspired by a post written by a blogger friend, Sandy}, I’ve decided to write a similar post with my mother; instead of coffee, we would be eating her favorite, hot fudge sundaes. Yesterday would have been her 85th birthday and I wanted to honor her with a special ‘retro’ post.

If my Mom and I were chatting over sundaes now…I’d first give her the biggest Birthday hug ever and tell her how much I miss her every day.

Hot Fudge Sundae image
My Mother’s Favorite Birthday Treat

If my Mom and I were chatting over sundaes now…I’d wish her a Happy Birthday and then we would talk about how we always enjoyed our mega birthday celebrations for her, my son, my sister and me, all being born in December. We would have our yearly, “boy we sure are getting old” discussion and laugh about all the years she had me fooled into telling everyone she was 29, instead of her real age {somewhere in her early to mid 40’s}. We’d first talk about how amazing it is that my son is turning 23 this year. She’d then purposely “guess” my age ~ “You’re 49, right?” ~ and I would giggle as I corrected her ~ “No, Momma, I’m going to be 51.” I’d laugh harder, watching her feign shock, “No! You can’t be! You’re my baby!” She’d shake her head, trying to keep a straight face and then burst into a fit of giggles before saying her usual, “We’re getting old, kid!”

If my Mom and I were chatting over sundaes now…she’d probably reach over to stroke my hair and say, “Wow, your hair’s really long!” We’d talk about how it was down to my waist when I was 9 years old and how she would braid it at night to avoid tangles. We’d then talk about how {after I’d just returned from the U.K.}, a woman at a salon ignored my request and cut it up to my ears from the first snip and how upset I was at the time. She’d then assure me that it looked great despite what happened.

If my Mom and I were chatting over sundaes now…I’d tell her that my work as an Outreach Coordinator for abused women was becoming more well-known, thanks to a radio interview I did in September and another interview I did for a blog in October. I’d also tell her about being a Life Coach and how great it makes me feel that I’m helping people in need. She would smile with pride, thank me for doing what I do, and tell me how much she always wished for the sort of help I offer. She would add that “back in those days”, nobody ever talked about what went on behind closed doors and how she stayed because that’s what her generation did, despite the suffering. I would tell her that I am doing it for her as much as I’m doing it for me and all the other women who need help.

If my Mom and I were chatting over sundaes now…I would tell her about old school friends I see every month and how well we’re reconnected because of Facebook. I’d tell her that we’re still close after all these years, that they helped me get through my grief, and that they give me unrivalled support, regardless of what I’m going through.

If my Mom and I were chatting over sundaes now… I would tell her that I saved my biggest news for last ~ that I am going to be a gran. I’d watch her face register shock and then I would tell her all about what happened during the past month. I know she would shake her head at first, but she would warm to the idea and be genuinely happy. She would tease me about being a grandma, which I would love to hear. I would also tell her how much I’m looking forward to being a grandmother for the first time. She’d smile and tell me I’m not old enough to be a gran…and I would agree wholeheartedly!

If my Mom and I were chatting over sundaes now… I would say what I need to say while I have the chance. I would tell her the things I couldn’t tell her while she was in hospice ~ that I considered her the best mother ever, and not because she’s beautiful or that she always knew exactly what to say and when to say it; or because she knew how to offer advice without interfering or sounding critical; or because she raised me to always conduct myself with dignity and grace, regardless of the circumstances; or that she went out of her way to comfort me and strengthen our bond, even from thousands of miles away. She was the best mother ever because she was a born hero. It was her SuperPower. ❤

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