Love

I’ll be honest. I struggled with today’s assignment because upon seeing the list of words, nothing immediately inspired me to write a blog post. I have a certain degree of impatience about my inspiration, particularly when I’m doing these courses because I love doing the assignments so much; but I was reminded today that inspiration is not always instantaneous. It’s okay to take some time to let things “brew” for a while. It seems silly of me to say I panicked a little, but…alas, I did. I know it could have been a lot worse; it didn’t take me long to settle on a word. So…silly panic mode behind me and without further ado, here’s my take on love.

In my 50 years, I’ve had relationships that have taught me what love is and what it’s not. I’ve learned about the things that strengthen feelings of love and things that erode even the strongest feelings of love. I learned that love can be based on an illusion, yet still feel very real. I experienced firsthand that even in a dysfunctional relationship, it’s possible to feel a sense of safety that makes freedom seem like such a scary concept.

Longevity in a relationship requires true compatibility without having to compromise authenticity. When one forces the other to change to fit an unrealistic ideal, it means there are conditions attached to “love”. The dynamic of abuse involved my ex spouting off every flaw, every thing he hated about me; when I asked him why he was still with me, {if he believed I was so “useless”}, his response: “Because I love you.” I knew better. Love is not about seeing only {and constantly pointing out!} someone’s flaws, bad habits, or mistakes. Love is not about control, manipulation, belittlement, criticism, ridicule, punishment. If it feels wrong, if it leaves us filled with doubt, if it makes us feel threatened, unworthy, hurt, drained or stressful, we must walk away before it destroys us.

Genuine love for someone means saying it without the need to hear it said back. It means only noticing the person, regardless of external appearances ~ hair, eye, skin color, race, height, weight, hairstyle, fashion sense, presence/absence of make-up, etc. It means the desire to see someone truly happy, even if it means supporting them through the pursuit a dream we may not agree with…or letting them go. It means understanding that there will be times when we hurt each other, but also seeing it as an opportunity to strengthen the bond, not drift apart. It means showing respect for the differences and agreeing to disagree. It means openly communicating by actively listening and working toward a resolution. Love means making someone feel safe and secure in our presence. Love feels right and uplifting

Genuine love is worth nurturing and holding onto, no matter how challenging the obstacles are. It’s what gets you through the rough times because it’s the rough times {you get through together} that make you see how strong and enduring love really is. Relationships may last or they may not; every time we seize the opportunity to love {even if we’ve been hurt before}, we must see it as a reminder that our heart is resilient and that it will always be capable of love, providing we allow it to.

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10 thoughts on “Love

    • Thank you so much!

      I can only imagine the writing assignments getting more challenging, as the course progresses, but that’s okay. I’m all for it if it makes me a better writer. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by. I have followed your blog and look forward to reading more from you.

      {Hugs}

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Am so sorry that you had such a bad relationship! Was fortunate enough to meet and marry a decent man back in 1995. We have had a our ups and downs. He tried to divorce me in the early 2000’s. We made it through that mess.
    Now I am completely wheelchair bound. He takes wonderful care of me. Hope you are doing better now! Writing helps you work out your confused feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It sounds like your husband is a really great guy and treats you as you deserve to be treated.

      I’m doing very well, thank you. I take a day at a time, but for now I’m really good. Thanks for commenting and dropping by.

      {Hugs}

      Like

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