My Mom, My Hero

In March 2014, I experienced a profoundly life-changing loss. Eight months after my dear mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer (following routine surgery), she lost her battle.

Her diagnosis came less than a year after I returned from living in the U.K. for nearly 2 decades. I know that I should be grateful that I returned home when I did ~ I am; but there are times when I can’t fathom just how life can deal such cruel blows, particularly as I’ve had more than my share already.

Although we spoke on the phone every week, during my time in the U.K., I missed being part of my mother’s daily life. I didn’t get to have the mundane conversations with her. Our phone calls featured as many highlights (that we could remember, anyway) as we could cram into a 2-hour conversation. When I returned home, she and I had evolved from the people we were when I left and I looked forward to the opportunity for us to get to really know each other again.

I wanted to watch her bond with my kiddos and behold their achievements. I had visions of us sitting together in the auditorium watching my daughter walk across the stage for her diploma. I wanted her to see my kiddos get married and have children. I wanted her to see me as a published author (I always planned to dedicate my first book to her). I know she’s still with us in spirit, but I miss her beaming smile, her voice, her laugh, her undying support, her ability to comfort me, her presence, our conversations.

My mother is my hero for so many reasons. She was my biggest cheerleader, confidante, Scrabble opponent, shopping buddy…best friend. She taught me how to conduct myself with dignity and grace, no matter how others treat me. She possessed the inner strength, patience and fortitude to raise 3 children in the dysfunctional environment created by my abusive, alcoholic father AND work a full-time job AND spend {what spare time she had} taking college courses to better herself. She taught me about the sort of person, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend I want to be.

She inspired me to always be the best version of myself ~ just like her.

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16 thoughts on “My Mom, My Hero

  1. Such a sweet tribute to your mom! Sorry for your loss…and from the sounds of it, I think you will succeed in following in her footsteps just being aware of the pitfalls of this life, I think make us more careful and better people.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Sandy! Thank you so much for your comment. Watching her suffer was very difficult but I try to not dwell on that as much as the positive influence she’s always had on who I am as a person.

      I try to write about things that are relatable so that others feel like someone understands.

      I will seek out your blog and follow you so that we can keep in touch. So nice to “meet” you here.

      Kindest Regards,
      Carol

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s hard, and it’s beautiful. Hard, because the loss of our parents really leave an emptiness in our reality mesh, and it’s beautiful, because she left such a beautiful “aura” behind. I, too, lost my dad exactly one year in two days; it was hard, too, because I have lived abroad (away from my parents) for the past twenty seven years and I, too, felt there was so much to tell, in one last month.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi there! Thank you so much for sharing your kind words and story.

      Two weeks before my mom died, she suffered a stroke. I thought I would have more time to say what I wanted to say but she faded quickly after her stroke.

      I did make sure she knew I love her and I’m glad of the fact that we rarely had a cross word between us during the whole of my adult life.

      I know she knew how much she means to me. I guess it’s one of those “if I’d known it was going to be our last conversation, I’d have told her more…” situations.

      Thanks again for writing.

      Kindest Regards,
      Carol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. With dad it was the other way: first, the stroke, and only after we found out he had cancer. I am writing a memoir about our last month together, and I published a few pages of it on this blog, then, I decided to restructure it so I removed the pages for until I reach the category assignment. It is all about things that had been waiting for being said, about what we did manage and about what we didn’t… about finally breaking that ice… I hope you will read it in a couple of days, tell me what you think.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I will definitely read your post.

        I’m so sorry for your loss and invite you to keep in touch, should you want someone to talk to.

        {Hugs}
        Carol

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I have followed your blog and, to this blog, I have added my social media links, if you’d like to connect elsewhere.

        I agree about the virtual hugs! 🙂

        Wishing you a great night. I’m off to work on Assignment 4!

        {Hugs}
        Carol

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  3. This post is so thoughtful and well-written. I lost my mom just a few months ago, and my father a few months before that. I lived overseas for 3 1/2 years and raised my children a continent away from their grandparents. Now that my daughters are reaching the age where they will have families (I hope), I am very focused on living within driving distance so we can see each other more often.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi!

      Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my blog. Your kind words are greatly appreciated.

      Please let me offer my sincerest condolences for the loss of your parents. My father passed away in July 1998 but he was a toxic person; losing him didn’t have the same impact as losing my mother. With him, I grieved for father I never had but know I deserved (very important lightbulb moment!).

      Please keep me in mind, should you ever need an understanding ear and soft shoulder.

      Take good care and keep in touch!

      {hugs}
      Carol

      Liked by 1 person

    1. My dear new friend,

      Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. It really helps to hear from people who can relate.

      If you ever need an understanding ear, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. I’ve really enjoyed our exchanges since the course started.

      {Hugs}
      Carol

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment on my post. The purpose of this blog is to write posts that people can relate to and I appreciate it when those who read my writing take the time to tell me so.

      {Hugs}
      Carol

      Liked by 1 person

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